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Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Attention seeking, attachment and adoption

The more i have contemplated Sam's school situation the more i find that some of his behaviors, while often Sensory Dysfunction related come from seeking a sense of control and attention. I have been ambivalent to attribute these behaviors to attachment issues or just issues of early and prolonged institutionalization where he has had little to no control over situations, coupled with extensive time spent in long-leg  casts, where he had little control over his body, movement and situations. Now that he has been freed of the casts and has people who are overly attentive to him (teachers, aids, other students) I believe he acts out to seek a sense of attention and control of a situation. Of course i am unsure how to address this in an attachment style parenting (which is kinda not happening because he goes to school, and i find that  attachment parenting doesn't really stick if the child is in school so much of the day)- so we have to approach this differently at school. Of course i will try my best to employ my Purvis-esque skills at home. I am still at a loss about the best way to deal with certain behaviors at school. I am glad I am not alone in dealing with this type of issue I love RAGE AGAINST THE MINIVAN and a recent post there is about this very thing. I still don't have the answers- even for my own situation (let alone for these types of issues for other moms, sorry :(  ) Some days i think i need to home school (oh my sanity), some days i think the school should treat him like anyone else- he needs to go with the flow, other days I want to add a 12094749872 things to his IEP about addressing all of these challenges, other days i want to switch schools and start over. I fear that no matter what decision i make i will always think i should have chosen to do something else. Serenity now!


  1. The never-ending battle inside an adoptive mom's head. Does it ever end? (Spoken by one with the same discussion playing over and over again in my own head).

  2. I hate that i feel uncertain about the course of action- ugh. Right after i made this post Sams teacher called wondering if something out of the ordinary happened this morning or last night because he was actively seeking stimulation in a much bigger way that usual. Nothing about this morning or last night was much different than any other night....i wish i could hone in on the triggers that may be happening