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Friday, November 25, 2011

mind swimming

i am trying to keep my head above water- we have been so busy and stressed- work, school, reading/research for final projects, john starting a new job (yay!)- Sam and his treatments, holidays, family visiting, Gabe and his upcoming birthday (the big 08!)
I am also exploring options for next year already, as far as what i need to/want to do workwise since i need to start my research and get more involved with the academic side of my degree. We are so lucky to have john be offered a new job - which he will be able to be more creative with and challenged.
Sam is doing very good at school- he loves his teacher and really seem so happy there. Gabe has been facing some issues, but they are nothing major...he is just needing to be more responsible for getting his homework done and being upfront with me about whats been going on with classwork while at school. Work has been taking its toll on me. Its not anythign specific at work, my school is experiencing some growing pains and issues with achievement- and i so want whats best for my students. I just dont feel i can be there 100% with so many other duties and responsibilities- for grad school, for my family ....its just stressful. Our upstairs home rennovations/repairs are finally 99% done. They are reglazing my 100 year old clawfoot tub (metal tools chipped it all to hell, I just had it reglazed like 2 years ago)....the paint, trim, molding, ceiling, insullation and plaster repairs have all been just new toilet and reglazing the tub. It feels like new ! I am still having to get used to the paint, its a real change.
Our thanksgiving was good- Johns family came to visit- which was great. Sam was not a Thanksgiving cuisine fan, but he really had a great time with the visiting family. I enjoyed cooking a big meal for 8 people- it was lots of fun, but something i only need to do once or twice a year :) How do these super sized families do it? Part of me really wants two more children, but then part of me feels stressed out and overwhelmed with the two full time kids i have and the two "part time" children we get to see every other weekend....maybe if i didnt need to work so much...i would love to be able to stay home with several children and not be stressed about $$, but that just isnt in our cards....i can afford to take a year "off " (just work part time or focus 15 hours on research) but couldnt do it for moree than a year or so....oh how i wish money wasn;t such an issue when it comes to raising our family and focusing on what we have the passion to do.

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