bouncing fixes everything

i haven't mentioned much about the magic that is the trampoline. Theres not much my two boys share/have in common....but bouncing on our huge trampoline is one thing they both love to do- together!@!! It brings joy to my heart that they at least have this. Sam officially got in to the Montessori program that Gabe goes to. However, I am really concerned that Sam lacks the focus and independence to really fulfill Montessori work....we will see. I will be working with him as much as possible this summer to help him
Many interesting, exciting and somewhat scary conversations going on- we are preparing for orientation into the foster/adopt program with DSS. At the same time i cant get something out of my mind- another waiting child adoption....i look at WC lists so much- specifically those that are HIV +. This is something i/we have never even talked about or discussed. But after watching a big special on Magic Johnson and then reading up on how HIV is not even considered a fatal illness but a chronic/manageable condition really had opened my eyes. I read over blogs of families with many adopted and bio children and theres something within me that really wants that....something i never thought was there. Its pretty unexpected. Another interesting occurrence is that i have resigned from teaching to focus on grad school work and mommy work...this scared the shit out of me, but at the same time John is very supportive of having me at home, often more than i am . I imagine iw ill be working part time...in fact i am already lining up part time work for the summer (HOGWARTS SUMMER CAMP ANYONE?!?!- for reals at the UUCC) I am not certain i will be a stay at home mom, in them ost traditional since but depending on how Sam does in school, it may be a reality for me for a while. If we go through with becoming foster parents then that will be an even bigger reason to be at home more....its exciting and scary all at once.
Sam is doing wonderfully- hes such a joyful smiley, happy boy. He has these little pouty moments but they are fleeting. We are so lucky and i must remind myself not to fall in love with and idealized version of fostering/adoption because of how well Sam has attached, because this is not always the norm. His language has come so far- its amazing how much he can say an dhow much he knows....i really feel theres barely a difference some days.

Anyhow, i am really trying my hardest to balance school, work and family....its hard but i only have to tough it out for another month!!

St Pats- Sam

 Sam's interested- and concerned- "whats all that music?"- Its the St Patty's Day Parade! A family tradition, Sam's first!

 And then the crazy starts! He sees Elmo coming!!

 Me and Gabrielle!

holding out

hi all- well i have , again, spanned many weeks with no updates or blog entries. I have been super stressed with grad school and work, and trying to stay healthy ( as in not having a total mental breakdown), be a good mom and wife...its hard- this semester has really gotten me bogged down with so much to do. However as of April 23rd I will be done! Not only done with grad school for this semester but possibly done with teaching for the year as well. Sam's surgery will be much more complicated than we once expected. His left foot has other issues going on, the recovery will be strict- 3 weeks with no weight on it...another 3 in a cast/ little movement....I am having issues with his pre-school situation not even maintaining his needs being in casts, so theres little faith in them to make sure the recovery goes well. So i am taking off to help him recover and be there for him- i wont have school or work...just me and Sam time. I am both looking forward to it and dreading it all at once. We are expecteding the surgery to be on or around April 26th
On a lighter notw- Sam's 4th birthday is coming up- on Easter....we are going to Universal Studios on April 19-21- WIZARDING WORLD OF HARRY POTTER, HARDROCK RESORT, SUPERMAN, SEUSS-LANDING!!! I love this place....i am so excited to take all the boys there and hopefully meet up with some friends and family.
On an even different note- i am having WC fever again...and have been looking through waiting child lists nearly daily. I really want Sam to have a family member that looks like him...and i am whole heartedly passionate about waiting child adoption/ older child adoption. Of course John is not sold....i am not even sure i can deal with all the red tape and frusrtation of all the paperwork BUT i think if we could be matched with a sibling group it would be easier just knowing they had each other, and if they are older- then knowing they understood a family was coming.....i can dream, can't i?

Hes been mine for 6 months!

Yesterday marked the 6 month mark since I took custody of Sam....wow!! It feels like forever and last week all at once. Sam has come so far and become so wonderful. Our attachment is great, and he love shis brother and even though he likes to "act up" with his dad- like telling him to go to "time out" or calling john a "stinky boy"- he loves john too. We have started looking back at his pictures, and family books as well as pictures from other family's travels to get thier children. He loves seing the mountains and donkeys! There is a string possibility that if i decide to do my research internationally that I will be bacj in Ethiopia. I wish to study the curriculum being developed for a new language policy Ethiopia has for using tribal languages in primary grades. I told John that if i go back for a semester- two things will likely happen 1.) I want Sam to come for part of it 2.) I wont be able to leave with out adopting another child !  So i am sure John knows what could be in store for us, or does he :) heheh
Sam's legs are looking great- and Johns birthday is this weekend. However, we dont have all the kids with us this weekend. So next weekend we are going to Great Wolf Lodge  to celebrate Johns b-day and Sam's 6 months home!!

Autumn

Pictures Pictures FL trip Jan

I love this picture!

It was warm enough for the beach!!

Sam and Gianna- oneo f my best friends :)

Baby Weasely- we are fosetring this little guy, and almost lost him to parvo and coccidia, he also has ricketts :( Hes really making a combeack

pictures pictures pictures December!

MIA for a while

hi all...whew its been so long since I posted- so much going on. The holidays were lots of fun, lots of stress, well- not too much but just enough to feel a bit overwhelmed. I got to visit my friend Gianna and my mom/step dad in Fl for new years. I took Gabe and Sam down all on my own. It was lots of fun and we got to actually swim in the beach a few times since it was so warm. Since our trip, and my return back to grad school and teaching after winter break, i have found myself super stressed out. I just feel i need to seek out a new job soon. There are some stressful issues and challenges my school is facing and it seems to be a real "when it rains, it pours" moments. Things just seem to be getting more stressful and unhinged. I love my kids though, for the most part. I actually adore my freshmen this year- this is the first time i have ever said that. They are the best class of freshmen i have had,. There have been hiccups and issues with certain kids but nothing like i have faced before. So i wouldn't want to let them down but having to leave. I also really like a few of my co-workers, and wouldn't want to leave them up the proverbial creek. I have just really faced some issues with professionalism, equity and most recently my out-right safety and the safety of my students. Even John says hes surprised I am still there. Next year i will really need the time to do more research, so working part time is the best for my situation.
SAM- is great and frustrating at times, but mainly wonderful. He is not really making the gains i had hoped in his preschool. He doesn't seem to recognize many letters at all and his English seems somewhat stifled, but still making slow progress. He knows some colors and can identify numbers  of objects up til 3 or 4. I wish i could stay home with him more for one on one teaching time (yet something else that tears at my conscious about working). Sam took a big break with his casts but is back in them. Our goal is to get his right foot to neutral and then proceed with an additional surgery on the left. I am having the casts taken off for the weekend of February 11- we are going to Greatwolf Lodge! I am super excited.
Gabe- has been recommended for advanced ELA for next year and is doing well. He has had some issues with a bully at school who tried to fight him/hit him- but Gabe has been able to get past this. The boy who was/is the bully has been suspended. Gabe has been doing more sleepovers with friends and just being an 8 year old :)

I am trying to juggle everything- we are fostering a malnourished, very sickly little pit bull puppy who's bringing me lots of joy.  A big part of my heart would love to work with veterinarians again- my first love :) I just feel so torn as to what to really do with my school/work situation. I feel i am not able to be the best teacher i can be with other anxieties from school plaguing my mind, but I am really enjoying my students .