pseudo- stay at home mom

Today began my two and half weeks home with Sam solo ...i will then return to work for about two weeks and then be off.....for who knows how long. This scares and excites me all at once. John and I have spoken at length and finally decided for me to stay home this next year- (thats the current plan).....i have resigned from my current school and plan on taking the summer off, aside from three separate weeks in which i will help direct a summer day-camp. I am exploring other teaching options that are better suited for the research i hope to do and my teaching philosophy- but i am pretty much jobless- and am timidly excited about being a stay at home mom/student.
Today was my first "test-drive" in a good while at being a stay at home mom/ grad student....helping Sam recover from surgery, work on/edit my last paper for the semester, cook lunches and dinners, keep up with the cleaning, getting exercise/ Sam out of the house, helping Gabe with homework and taking the family out to the book store....in my head i am approaching being a stay-at home mom as a job, complete with daily scheduling and such....all the important things i try and get done in my lunch hour or after school i have time to get done and spend time with Sam, pick up Gabe and play with the dogs....i love it! Of course i am still tied to many blogs and such about adoption as we explore our options for the next addition- and Sam probably watched more TV than he should, but hes pretty much immobile.....i know there are many things i need to improve about my full-time mommyness- but its a challenge i am so excited to take on. I am already writing my list for tomorrow :)

under the knife

so Sam's BIG surgery and little surgery all went down the same day- Last Thursday. I had readied myself to be away from work, readied myself to be a full time nurse and tried to prepare Gabe (my 8 year old) for the morning of....except i wasn't ready. In reality John was much more prepared because he was able to take time off and so the pre-op consults with Sam and our surgeon (kudos to Moore Orthopaedic and Dr. Hydorn!!!)- We checked in at 6am Thursday morning. We had to wake up Sam and Gabe at 545am...we live literally 3 minutes from the hospital which was great. Gabe was a groggy mess and Sam was hyper and happy...seriously this boy is the best  early waker-upper ever! Anyhow we waited in the ever colorful rain forest themed "big waiting room" and had Johns dad come to watch Gabe for a bit...only John and I could accompany Sam to the pre-op patient room.

Sam was giddy to wear these clothes :)

I had to take Gabe to school and relive Johns dad who had to go to work...so as Sam finished having vitals checked and we met with his "team" - i left him and John to hang out in the pre-surgical area and walk around - there's a fun play room and wagons to be rode.

I got back just as they took Sam back to the surgical area. i waited for a while in the top waiting room to get a surgery start time- which was 8:09....

John came back from feeding the dogs and getting me coffee and we chose to wait in the downstairs big waiting room- it wasn't as claustrophobic and we could come and go to the outside area for walks....we were told because both feet would be operated on...and since the left was much more extensive than the right- it would be between 3 1/2 and 4 hours....a long time....we napped a big, i read Self magazine and got dedicated to a new eating plan...even began making grocery lists....john read a book...i was antsy and was happy to get hourly updates from surgery....they called us first at 915 to say they were still on the first leg...then within a half hour to say they began the left....then finally near noon we got the call that they were "closing" and to come upstairs.

We got up there and John went back to recovery...i was a bit nervous about seeing him in too much pain *that would come later anyway

The doctor met with us for a bit and felt we should stay one, if not two nights....Sam's left leg- tendons and all, including the calf muscle and foot- underwent extensive work....he would be in a lot of pain and his leg may have muscle spasms that would be incredibly painful- .....we say the brunt of that pain all Thursday afternoon and evening...into the night. He was sidetracked for a little while between 6 and 8 when a former student, and girl who has watched Sam in the past, came to visit. She was the only one to come :) But it cheered Sam up imensley. He got a few pieces of candy, a balloon and got to play with her I-phone. 

Otherwise, our evening consisted trying to help Sam endure muscle spasms and pain.Sam would have intense spasms and scream out....shake- and stiffen up...i thought he was having a seizure the first time it happened. They gave him morphine, vicodin and valium....he would get calmer for maybe only 30 minutes to an hour and then the raging pain would start again. This happened constantly from noon, after surgery until the next morning at about 5am, when he finally slept for only 2 hours....our first sleep that lasted longer than half an hour. John, Sam and I also took a little jaunt around our floor in the wagon, that cheered him up alot.

Later that after noon he slept from 1230- 330, finally....if his pain remained intense and required morphine, and the muscle spasms continued then we would have had to stay a second day. Thankfully they subsided around 1230 - he remained morphine free from that point on...we all had a little nap. 

Finally around 430pm we made it home, by 5pm John was back with his prescriptions- and they both took a long long nap :)

 Thankfully Sam is much better today, Sunday- and has been back to his little strong willed self :)

update that there will be an update

ok all...i have been really slack with updating. We have been busy and crazed and overwhelmed. We took a trip to Fl to see some family and friends before Sam's big surgery. We managed to squeeze two incredible days at Universal Studios/Islands of Adventure in there as well- as a late Sam Birthday/Family trip.
Then yesterday was surgery....THE BIG SURGERY...actually two operations - one on each foot. Sam's left foot needed a great deal more work with reassigning and releasing tendons. Lets just say when Sam is freaked out and is in fight or flight mode- he chooses FIGHT....after over 3 hours of surgery, he was awakened around 1130am and basically stayed awake until 7 or 8pm and only then did he start to sleep in little spurts. He has endured hours and hours of muscle spasms causing so much pain for his little body to take- he would shake and scream with pain - we tried lori-tab, morphine, valium...finally got him calmed around 9pm when he slept for nearly and hour but then was up again for a long time...near 1am he started to sleep for two hours after morphine, 330- more morphine and 2 hours of sleep...then on/off sleep until 7am - he woke up and had a little juice/snack and went back to sleep around 815- hes still asleep...but WHEW this is hard...this "simple procedure" as our agency explained has turned out to be much more extensive then we ever thought.....but we got both feet done and now we are on the road to recovery! I am going to upload pictures of our Universal trip and some of the hospital....more to come

* Adoption news- home study update finally formally began....our DSS/State is changing some forms and its had slowed us down :(

fun with SAM

two years ago

it was two year ago this week i asked for more information from HOLT on the most adorable little boy holding a tattered bunny, with a chubby belly and his legs both in casts......oddly enough i asked for his file nearly at the same time as his 2nd birthday.....maybe we were his bday present :)

baby stepping

updated photos and new application for homestudy sent out today.....giddy- nervous-anxious

gorilla chicken

funny thing - Sam went walking around the back yard and inquired about the grill "what is it, Crowley?" John goes on to explain its a grill to cook chicken- and then Sam runs in to tell me "Mamma, Mamma, gorilla chicken outside!"

Another funny thing. Sam brings a little yogurt and spoon to the living room...he got them all by him self and hes super proud. He gets help opening the cup, but then wants to bring the empty cup and spoon to the kitchen on his own. John goes in behind him to fund Sam putting his yogurt spoon back in the drawer "I pick up, Crowley!"

Too funny

zoo time

John and Gabe on the ropes course

Gabe was up super high! He did so good! This was his second time

Sam on his first horsey!! He was over the moon excited!

i love spring break

i had a house full of kids, got to read, study, referee them playing outside, do some cleaning, send some emails and watch a webinar on attachment/adoption. No beaches, no trips, no drinks with umbrellas or bikinis (as if)- but its been a great time so far!!!
tomorrow will be a park date with Sam and Gabe, some school work for me and then a night class. loverly