i have been feeling waves of overwhelm-ness....of knowing that these are the last few days of our sense of *normal* and that we will soon be evolving into a new normal with a beautiful little boy who will be full of wonder, his own sense of overwhelm-ness, with possible elements of fear, confusion but also hopefully with happiness, a sense of fun and adventure.....and , over time, a sense of security and family. Unlike many adoptive families, i have little to no history of S aside from his time in the care center. I am starting to have the feeling that i need to give him more of a history- even if its just with the care-center family. So i am printing many pictures of him and his nannies and will make sure to get thier names and spellings and hopefully find out some sweet stories they have of him. The story we were told about how a family from Italy came to see him and nearly adopted him when he was 1 1/2 but then got too worried about his health issues just isnt one of those sweet stories i need to include. (Thanks you Italian family that did not choose S, for buying me some time to get to my baby ) I can feel my heart growing and i literally feel different, physically, when the realization hits me about being sososos close to having S in our arms.
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