The last night....the last hour

Last night was the last night our Samuel will have spent in an orphanage. I was there to feed him dinner and play and then put him to bed for his last night in his little blue crib at the carecenter. This is the last hour he will live there...in an hour he will be with me....i leave in 30 minutes. I left Sunday at 7am and arrived in Addis at 8am on Monday- and am surrounded by some great families. We have challenges with embassy, but nothing major and it will take a few days. Hopefully good news will come this week. Sam is walking, well kind of hobbling...but its a fast hobble! He is out of casts for now and some muscle tone is coming back to his legs. He is such a joyful boy....just giggles and smiles all the time. He is so excited about being able to wear shoes for now. "CHEMMAS!!!!" he yells . He is a short little three year old it seems, but he is a good eater! Its nice here, weather wise. Daily down pours make the air so much nicer than in May. The north is still battling drought conditions. Its such a nice break from 105 temps in SC. I am at such peace finally after so much anxiety...my chest and heart would hurt some days (or usually in the middle of the night at 3am) with worrt about what would happen with our case and if i will make it back. I have heard other very frustrating stories of adoption from some families here, and there has already been tears due to a scary court situation for some families who left yesterday. It is so difficult to be able to have grace and peace with this process....and this is just the beginning....after the heartbreaking hurdles of just getting through court and embassy, then you have the new life to create, often dealing with trauma and attachment building that is not always easy.... through this process i really have felt my heart has literally grown (maybe b/c of the anxiety palpatations hehe)....now i can breath