Addressing issues

As mentioned before I am actually not freaking out as much about the wait for this adoption. I guess having the clarity that the process works and she will be home has set my mind at ease. I have had a busy few days with work and school, and the boys. Sam is doing pretty good at his pre-school, still very impulsive and fails to listen the first time. We have a meeting with the district regarding having him evaluated. However i am very disappointed that nothing has come of the ombudsman - we have requested to file formal complains and inquiries into what took place with Sam being barricaded, denied his snack and bathroom for two hours. This needs to be formally addressed and i feel we have been ignored. I guess at this stage we are looking into an attorney regarding this and the privacy violation that took place earlier this semester.
We are still waiting on a state certified letter and two other forms from our agency to send our dossier out to D.C. I never thought we would be done with our part two weeks before they were. I thought they were waiting on us, ....now we wait. I hope to have the dossier off and away and the placement agreement, with immigration forms all off and away by the end of this week. I really hope we don't have to wait yet another week. So after this week the main thing we must do is raise $$ for travel. This is no small feat, with two trips and wanting to bring the boys on at least one of the trips (possibly for court, but likely to take K Amhara home).
Oh yeah, we have chosen the middle name Amhara. The Amhara people live in the Benishangul region of Ethiopia, and according to her paper work, she is Amhara. So we have chosen that to be her middle name :)
John will be getting a head start on her room this week- mainly getting rid of all the left over yard sale stuff and my teaching materials, and storage of boy clothes we have yet to use for Sam and Gabe. Then it will be time for furniture! A new repurposed wood furniture store has opened, along with a sweet new Whole Foods. Their prices are very good and the furniture is so unique and pretty. So i really want to get an armoire and dresser from there.
Ok today we are going to Charlotte to eat Ethiopian food...gotta get going!

A new type of Halloween freakout

John and I have spent the morning filling out more immigration paperwork for K and completing her placement agreement. I have had this odd sense of peace with the adoption paper work this time. I was a nervous wreck with Sam's paper work- mainly because it just seemed to never be clear what was happening, where he was living (there were issues with our former agency and some care centers). I had knots in my stomach and chest. Somehow i haven't had the freak out with K- even when john told me he has to change jobs since his plant is closing in a few months. So hes in the midst of a job search...i am not working outside of my graduate assistantship/TA position, which is semester based.  I have just had to have faith that we could do it, financially. Now as we close in - sending our dossier to DC, and then await a court date (maybe that will be my Christmas present??) i still have peace in my heart. our final $12,200 is nearly the exact amount that we are waiting for from the IRS (maybe my Halloween 'treat' will be out tax return!?) We are cutting it close, but i am trying to keep calm. My heart was full yesterday-we got new pictures of K yesterday- close up, to her face....her eyes are sparkling, ....all the past ones she was uneasy and held a name plate in front of her- with her complete name. I hated those pictures...but these showed a different demeanor; a spunky confidence with a crooked smile. Shes been moved to the transition home already, she is being prepared for the roll-coaster, for the big leap- a new family. I am not sure she knows anything about us specifically, but i am excited that in the next few weeks we can send her a pictures (i hope) and all her paper work will be in process, i hope, for our court date. The money will come, johns new job will come, a more secure position for me may even be on the horizon. Tricks, treats and thanksgiving are upon us

The Fair and other milestones

Last year Sam was in casts and could not partake in the festive frenzy that is our state fair. Not only that, the day i snuck gabe out of the house to take him to the fair, it rained. So this was a major do-over and it was AWESOME. The boys had a joyous time....Sam has no fear with rides and has embraced the "hands in the air" pose with all rides...even ones that dont require it (ferris wheel, bumper cars?) Gabe has grown tall enogh to ride nearly everything and he took some big risks this year with "fireball" and the super swings....i joined him on both...then he went THREE MORE TIMES, sans mom. I was there for food, food and more food....and i can attest to  my victory as i ate my powdered sugar, cheery and hot fudge funnel cake for breakfast.
oh yeah, and we also completed our dossier this week for K....and she was moved to the transition home....and possibly told of her being matched.....wow
no big thang, right?

 

 

moments of joy

....such as this one

I should be doing something else

Wednesdays are my busiest, fullest days- i have work, and my TA course and a graduate course- i am gone until nearly 9pm. I hate it. But its just one day a week and i try to make tons fo time for Gabe and Same on Tuesday/Thursdays when i am less busy. This Wednesday is no different:
Stuff to do:

Mediation Form to create
visit a local vet to visit a sweet dog in need of a home (not for me)
Staff resolution meetings to be had
write the second half of cultural autobiography
article review
grade projects from "green explorations"
grade blogs from "green explorations"
update grade book
notarize remaining dossier forms


whew i gotta get going

*update on boys:
Sam i loving being back at his former preschool
Gabe is really liking fencing :)

advocate

when a child is kept barricaded in a hall way for two hours, denied to go potty, eat his snack or go back in class by the teacher who is supposed to be the one to guide him and connect with him - ADVOCATE

If i have learned one thing it is the "good schools" are only as good as how they treat thier most challenged children.

Yeah, we are working through some things.

When a teacher insists on playing a game of wills with a 4 year old from a hard place, the teacher gets frustrated.....and calls for back up (us). You see, my four year old often always wins in a battle of wills. It was his strong will that got him through three years in an institution, walking on his hands, with limited food, limited love, limited medical care. So when a "teacher" finds the need to battle out an apology from him, from an infraction that took place TWO HOURS previous- he wins....he can wait her out- for at least three years or more.


Dr. Purvis- please come do some professional education for teachers. They dont attend the seminars because maybe they think they know all of this already.....they get mad at parents for telling them that they dont, in fact, know all of this already




 

Attention seeking, attachment and adoption

The more i have contemplated Sam's school situation the more i find that some of his behaviors, while often Sensory Dysfunction related come from seeking a sense of control and attention. I have been ambivalent to attribute these behaviors to attachment issues or just issues of early and prolonged institutionalization where he has had little to no control over situations, coupled with extensive time spent in long-leg  casts, where he had little control over his body, movement and situations. Now that he has been freed of the casts and has people who are overly attentive to him (teachers, aids, other students) I believe he acts out to seek a sense of attention and control of a situation. Of course i am unsure how to address this in an attachment style parenting (which is kinda not happening because he goes to school, and i find that  attachment parenting doesn't really stick if the child is in school so much of the day)- so we have to approach this differently at school. Of course i will try my best to employ my Purvis-esque skills at home. I am still at a loss about the best way to deal with certain behaviors at school. I am glad I am not alone in dealing with this type of issue I love RAGE AGAINST THE MINIVAN and a recent post there is about this very thing. I still don't have the answers- even for my own situation (let alone for these types of issues for other moms, sorry :(  ) Some days i think i need to home school (oh my sanity), some days i think the school should treat him like anyone else- he needs to go with the flow, other days I want to add a 12094749872 things to his IEP about addressing all of these challenges, other days i want to switch schools and start over. I fear that no matter what decision i make i will always think i should have chosen to do something else. Serenity now!
 

Progress but still waiting

We got our UCIS immigration stuff all taken care off- the l-600A arrived Friday :)
We are still waiting on Johns new passport, of which we have to copy a page and it must shows its valid for at least 6 months. His just expired and he sent in the renewal forms, along with the passport- but its been 5 weeks and we are still waiting. Also in mid August we did our FBI fingerprinting and sent in the cards to be formally background checked. Yet we are still waiting on that too....ugh

Work is busy- we have Sustainability Week coming up and my students are starting a bike-map action project this week. Dogs have been quite chipper now that the weather is turning cooler and they arent dealing with 98 degree heat- they are running and chasing and being very active in the yard. Its fun to see

We have a new Whole Foods opening up in a few weeks, some good friends of mine are "Team Leaders" there- I am super excited for them and having a Whole Foods nearby.
Its October 1st- and traditionally October has been a pretty busy month for us- this year its no exception- Upcoming trips to Asheville, Halloween decorations to get out, costumes to make/buy, boo-at-the-zoo to visit - it will be a lot of fun, i hope.

Next month I am taking Gabe up to the Mountain Retreat Center for the Unitarian Universalist Youth Convention. It will be our first time going and we are both really excited! I am so fortunate with my great schedule to be able to do alot with the kids, and be available for school issues