just starting out....

I say we are just starting out...but its more like we are re-starting. My mind is trying to create a logistical path to how adoption can work for us. I go from being excited about all the possibilities, to being worried that after time, money, effort and emotions are invested that something will mess everything up, then on the other hand I am anxious about choosing the right country, agency and child.

...maybe i can start by explaining where my family is and who we are. My husband is John, a wonderful, funny "manny"- who does such great things with our kids and is such a fun person. I am Tara Autumn- known by most as Autumn. We are part of a blended family- both having brought children from a previous marriage together. I have a son named Gabe who is 6. John's children are Danielle, 14 and Ross 8 (almost 9).

I am a teacher, with a Masters in Secondary Education (Social Studies) and a graduate degree in Women's Studies. I also have a BA in Cultural Anthropology. I am a dorky academic and social critique hehehe. I am planning on starting work towards my PhD this all- at either Clemson or USC- if my finanical aid "cards" work out in my favor. I hope to have more answers on PhD stuff by the end of this month.

John is a mechanical engineer- who wishes to be more creative with his work but due to ups and downs in the job market is working at Square D- where he is able to be somewhat creative yet frustrated a good deal of the time. He is a math nerd- a field of academia that is the furthest from my academic nerd realm as it can be.

We were married in October of 2008 and live in Columbia, SC. We suffered a miscarriage just last month. It was early, at just 12 weeks but it kinda rocked us. The pregnancy in general rocked our plans- we were not planning on a new born. We actually wished to pursue adoption. So we were sent through a whirlwind of emotions- our hearts and minds were spinning first with the prospect of a new baby then at the hurt of the loss. However, it has strengthened my resolve as a mom. I find myself cherishing the time i have with my son Gabe, much more. I also have a steadfast resolve on adopting a child from Ethiopia. International adoption has been a dream of mine for years. It was something I shared with John as we were dating.
I amin the midst of lots of research- we are 90% set on Gladney (rather, I am- since John doesn't seem too research oriented at this point) or Holt. Gladney will start our paper work rolling right away and Holt's protocol is that we wait until we have been married two years to even accept the homestudy. I love Holt's work with international adoption, aid and especially their waiting-child program. However, i have heard/read such great things about Gladney and their heart hospitals that are being set up in Ethiopia. My homestudy agency feels both are great agencies to go with and we would have good results regardless of which one we choose.

We are hoping for a boy about 2 to 4 years old. It seems everyone wants the tiny babies. We are wanting to get right to the fun stuff! The running around crazy and having lots of fun. We have shared in the miracles of the new born years- bring on that wild and crazy toddlers!