MIA for a while

hi all...whew its been so long since I posted- so much going on. The holidays were lots of fun, lots of stress, well- not too much but just enough to feel a bit overwhelmed. I got to visit my friend Gianna and my mom/step dad in Fl for new years. I took Gabe and Sam down all on my own. It was lots of fun and we got to actually swim in the beach a few times since it was so warm. Since our trip, and my return back to grad school and teaching after winter break, i have found myself super stressed out. I just feel i need to seek out a new job soon. There are some stressful issues and challenges my school is facing and it seems to be a real "when it rains, it pours" moments. Things just seem to be getting more stressful and unhinged. I love my kids though, for the most part. I actually adore my freshmen this year- this is the first time i have ever said that. They are the best class of freshmen i have had,. There have been hiccups and issues with certain kids but nothing like i have faced before. So i wouldn't want to let them down but having to leave. I also really like a few of my co-workers, and wouldn't want to leave them up the proverbial creek. I have just really faced some issues with professionalism, equity and most recently my out-right safety and the safety of my students. Even John says hes surprised I am still there. Next year i will really need the time to do more research, so working part time is the best for my situation.
SAM- is great and frustrating at times, but mainly wonderful. He is not really making the gains i had hoped in his preschool. He doesn't seem to recognize many letters at all and his English seems somewhat stifled, but still making slow progress. He knows some colors and can identify numbers  of objects up til 3 or 4. I wish i could stay home with him more for one on one teaching time (yet something else that tears at my conscious about working). Sam took a big break with his casts but is back in them. Our goal is to get his right foot to neutral and then proceed with an additional surgery on the left. I am having the casts taken off for the weekend of February 11- we are going to Greatwolf Lodge! I am super excited.
Gabe- has been recommended for advanced ELA for next year and is doing well. He has had some issues with a bully at school who tried to fight him/hit him- but Gabe has been able to get past this. The boy who was/is the bully has been suspended. Gabe has been doing more sleepovers with friends and just being an 8 year old :)

I am trying to juggle everything- we are fostering a malnourished, very sickly little pit bull puppy who's bringing me lots of joy.  A big part of my heart would love to work with veterinarians again- my first love :) I just feel so torn as to what to really do with my school/work situation. I feel i am not able to be the best teacher i can be with other anxieties from school plaguing my mind, but I am really enjoying my students .

stressful crazy

i have been MIA as of late....i am so thankful to be on Xmas break- but it got off to a pretty tragic start. John got off work early on Thursday, picked up Sam and came home to find our house broken into and not only that, our beloved 12 year old Malamute, Scully, was dead. I was devestated. The burglars mainly took the game systems, games and a few presents, plus broke two windows. I am hoping Scully's death was just a horrific coincedence, and hoping she wasnt poisoned or tazzed....i just hope and pray she wasn't in pain. We couldnt afford the $800 autopsy, and have since buried our wonderful doggy. Shde was so gentle and sweet, yet a firecracker- always trying to dig out and run the neighborhood, see her friends and make mischief.

We will miss you so much

3 months home!

I am not, slack- Just SUPER busy,....my mom came into town on Thursday night- the same night I had a presentation for a grad school class, the same night John had to get both boys over to see my mom, then Friday was swimming at the indorr pool, 3 month post placement visit from social worker AND a dinner party for 4 couples, and kids for my sons's b-day .....so i have had little time to reflect and write a suitable post for Sams 3 months home....4 months in my custody. It seems like its been a year, how well we click. More to come.......

mind swimming

i am trying to keep my head above water- we have been so busy and stressed- work, school, reading/research for final projects, john starting a new job (yay!)- Sam and his treatments, holidays, family visiting, Gabe and his upcoming birthday (the big 08!)
I am also exploring options for next year already, as far as what i need to/want to do workwise since i need to start my research and get more involved with the academic side of my degree. We are so lucky to have john be offered a new job - which he will be able to be more creative with and challenged.
Sam is doing very good at school- he loves his teacher and really seem so happy there. Gabe has been facing some issues, but they are nothing major...he is just needing to be more responsible for getting his homework done and being upfront with me about whats been going on with classwork while at school. Work has been taking its toll on me. Its not anythign specific at work, my school is experiencing some growing pains and issues with achievement- and i so want whats best for my students. I just dont feel i can be there 100% with so many other duties and responsibilities- for grad school, for my family ....its just stressful. Our upstairs home rennovations/repairs are finally 99% done. They are reglazing my 100 year old clawfoot tub (metal tools chipped it all to hell, I just had it reglazed like 2 years ago)....the paint, trim, molding, ceiling, insullation and plaster repairs have all been done...now just new toilet and reglazing the tub. It feels like new ! I am still having to get used to the paint, its a real change.
Our thanksgiving was good- Johns family came to visit- which was great. Sam was not a Thanksgiving cuisine fan, but he really had a great time with the visiting family. I enjoyed cooking a big meal for 8 people- it was lots of fun, but something i only need to do once or twice a year :) How do these super sized families do it? Part of me really wants two more children, but then part of me feels stressed out and overwhelmed with the two full time kids i have and the two "part time" children we get to see every other weekend....maybe if i didnt need to work so much...i would love to be able to stay home with several children and not be stressed about $$, but that just isnt in our cards....i can afford to take a year "off " (just work part time or focus 15 hours on research) but couldnt do it for moree than a year or so....oh how i wish money wasn;t such an issue when it comes to raising our family and focusing on what we have the passion to do.

photo upload Halloween and family fun time pictures

Halloween fun Sam and Gabe

The Kids at 5 points- too cute

Our family Christmas card picture

Danielle

Gabe and Ross eating sour sour candy "toxics"

I played it safe with Jelly Bellies

Comparing candy from TIC TOC Candy Shop

I grow suspicious that most candy is gone

"vomit" Harry Potter Jelly Bean

Lets see if John will eat one

He fell for it

Sam- taking it all in

loot from TIC TOC- we had a $20 gift cert

They laugh way too much!

beautiful boys

Tuesday home

"Zimbay! Too Loud!" That is what Sam is yelling at the carpenters and contractors who are inhabiting our upstairs. He is also doing his word puzzles which he loves. I am staying home today and john is staying home the rest of the week b/c of the construction (last week the crew brokje something of ours bascially every day) and to get some one-on-one time with Sam. He has been throwing and spitting and we are trying to really see how these behaviors are playing out. He does not do them with us so much....we are thinking that he is doing it to garner individual attention from teachers at his school and at the gym childcare center. We value the one on one attention we can give him, but realistically he needs to be able to accomodate learning in a  group environment....it will happen, but i want us to really evaluate his problem behaviors (we need to evaluate ours as well, heheh). I have been obsessed with job dreaming....i need to get out of the classroom and possibly just focus on grad school and research....but woud like to do something part time in the evenings....so i am really contimplating getting certified to teach yoga or go back to working with ABA training for autistic children- there is also a position as the school program coordinator at the zoo but the pay is pretty weak.....hmmmm can't i just transition right now? I love being home!! Even though right now Sam is yelling at workers up in the frontof the house while i am online back in the kitch...hehehe tisk tisk

Renovations suck

well this is week three or four that part of our ceiling upstairs has been missing....there is weird black soot like dust every where, one of the crew men broke our toilet as well as our master bedroom ceiling fan/klight....no progress towards actual repair. We have been told that it took so long because we requested our ceilings to be done in the historic fashion of our house...and the wood had to be milled by hand, yadda yadda. Well the wood should start to be put in place this coming week, then plaster repair, modling replacement , sealing , new insullation in attuc and paint.....it better be complete by Thanksgiving. John will be home a good part of next week because he is in job transition- maybe with him here the workcrew wont continue to be careless and break things. One can only hope.
In family news: Gabe and Ross and i all went to the fall festivbal today- held at Gabes school. Trick or treating was awesome last Monday in Elmwood Park, a beautiful historic neighborhood, in which 85% of the houses went ALL OUT and really made the area a Halloween wonderland....it was beautiful, scarey and exciting all at once. Gabe lost two teeth this week- which he promtly explained that he had to because he wanted money for the bookfair. He previously asked me for money for the book fair but i declined since he has several books recntly purchased from the bookstore which have yet to be read. It seems that he felt he should take matters into his own hands, or mouth, rather. So, this creative child has managed to pull out two teeth and now is the gleeful owner of a new book Ninjago.
Sam is doing wonderfully- he is speaking in three/four word sentences and has mastered the word "No" and "no way"- haha. He was confused about the act of giving candy away to trick or treaters, since he spent many evenigns at Halloween carnivals requesting candy. The poor, confused, toddler. As of next week we are taking longer breaks between castings. I am trying to finish some end of semester papers, which will be the end of my mental stability. I should get some pictures up in this piece