Just Breath

Certain moments have been catching me off guard. For the past 5 weeks i have had this tension in my chest "will he finally be ours....is it ever going to be official?" and now it is....the same old thought will creep in my head and then i have to shake it out of my min "yes!  he is our finally ours!!" These last two days have had other occurances that have helped me..... my husband got cable back- we went for a year with out it, and in celebration of my first year of graduate work towards my doctorate, the finalization of our adoption (soon soon) he got Direct TV back...i have been watching tons of current TV- documnetaries on Cuba and Doctors without Boarders- wonderful!! My summer class is over (another reason to be able to breath easier), i have a part time job for july to raise $$ for my second trip, and i am doing well with planning for the fall (both for my research and teaching). As stated before i get a bit caught up with planning and anxiety about if things will get done on time. Its all starting to come together. Meditation and prayer have been a big part of it...
Other thoughts that catch me off guard is just imagining Sam home with us....and the nesting!!! I am getting my stroller and am excited about that - and i have started to think of taking him up to the mountains of PA in late October to see some best friends of mine from undergrad.....i hope attachment is going well at that point, it may be a risky move. I may just take Gabe with me, but my friends from Wilkes are planning a weekend together (actually my idea from last year) and even my half sister is up there and i really need to visit them....